Since June I have been waking up each morning remembering dreams that are simply yuck. Revisiting the traumas of past relationships – it’s much like the story of Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.
I had several short-term relationships in my twenties and then a couple of longer ones in my thirties to now, so there’s a big cast of exes and they show up randomly. Sometimes the face of one matches the story of another – it’s not so much about them but the repeating relationship dynamics.
I know what is happening – my guides are schooling me at night – making sure I shine a light on the dark corners of my psyche. Each dream has a strong message about what needs to be let go of. I am being asked to forgive and learn from the past, and not fear that similar things will happen again.
Next my guides repeatedly asked me to write my story and share it for others to learn. As a journalist and editor, I knew where to start: I began typing up my journal. On day three, the emotions came up thick and fast.
There was anger, heartbreak, sadness and disappointment – altogether it was a heavy burden that needed to be released. I went for a walk to get some fresh air and received a beautiful song message, Elton John’s “I guess that’s why they call it the blues”. One part of the lyrics stood out:
Don’t wish it away
Don’t look at it like it’s forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better
And while I’m away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won’t be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide
Now is the time to “dust out the demons inside” and re-reading my journal has really helped let those demons out. My spirit team is telling me I am going through a phase of renewal – I’m at the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. It is only fair that I begin this new chapter with a lighter heart.